A Satirical Article on a Troubling Issue

Mohammad al-Washihi, a Kuwaiti journalist, wrote a short article for Kuwaiti daily “al-Jaridah al-Kuwaitiyyah” entitled “Christians of Kuwait…the Jizyah [Tax for non-muslims] is upon you, so prepare yourselves” , in which he made fun of the campaign led by MP Ousama al-Shahin to remove a Christmas tree placed in a supermarket.”

“Thanks be to God Who has blessed Islam with the courage of MP Ousama al-Shahin, who led a battle that will be immortalized in the history of great conquests, as he was able to defeat the government and the foreigners, upholding the banner of religion above al-Dasma Supermarket.

The details of this blessed conquest began when the supermarket placed a Christmas tree, to celebrate the coming of Christmas (God protect us) in an attempt to insult Islam and humiliate muslims. Thereupon the fires of jealousy raged in the mind of this great warrior, MP Ousama Shahin, who opted for war, digging trenches, bidding his family and loved ones farewell, preparing himself to sacrifice his soul, and addressed the Social Affairs minister (in an angry tone, I imagine). As the minister and her government then shook in terror, and with them the Christians of Kuwait, and the heads of the supermarket. They heeded his word, removing the tree from Muslim lands. Thus, the “battle of the shakes” was written down in history, in letters of olive oil.

Soon, God-willing, we will surround the Christians of Kuwait, and al-Dasma Supermarket, perhaps we will strike it with catapults, and cut off its water and food supply until they give us the keys, whereupon we will enter singing God’s praises, raising high the banner of religion. We pray that God extend our lives so that we may see the day where the Christians of Kuwait will be forced to pay Jizyah, by cash of by “Key-net” (Electronic payment).

God bless you, O courageous knight, brave and noble, remover of trees, opener of shells from within the sea. Bless this frail government that fears the danger of a mere sprinkle, and God bless all those who supported this victorious conquest by jealous muslims in this holy land.”

It is of note that Kuwait, is one of the supporters of ISIS, along with Saudi Arabia and many Gulf states.